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	The Onion: Press Secretary Spins Wife's Death As A Positive Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 140 seconds White House Press Secretary Ted Barrett deflects questions about the gruesome car wreck that killed his wife, instead focusing on the President's agenda. More coverage at: http://onion.com Related: accident, bush, death, george, house, media, onion, press, white

	Rep. Nelson Proposes The Gary Nelson Personal Pay Raise Bill Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 159 seconds Congressman Gary Nelson has an economic plan to raise his family's standard of living. More coverage at: http://onion.com Related: congress, news, onion, politics, senate, the

	The Onion: Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 180 seconds Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper. Related: barack, comedy, election, fake, funny, john, mccain, news, obama, politics, satire, voting

	The Onion: Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 08 Election Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 164 seconds Embarrassed Diebold officials apologized after one of their electronic voting machines prematurely revealed the winner of our upcoming sham election. More coverage at: http://onion.com Related: 2008, election, machines, onion, the, voting

	The Onion: Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 161 seconds Disney claims its latest batch of child stars is so lifelike, youll barely be able to tell they have no souls. Related: brothers, comedy, cyrus, disney, funny, hannah, jonas, miley, montana, onion, teens

	The Onion: Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass' Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 182 seconds Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions. Related: badass, capital, comedy, court, death, fake, funny, justice, law, news, penalty, punishment, satire, supreme

	Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 145 seconds For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008. More coverage at: http://onion.com Related: barack, clinton, election, hillary, john, mccain, obama, politics, president, voting

	Pre-Game Coin Toss Makes Jaguars Realize Randomness Of Life Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 161 seconds After comprehending the capricious nature of fate, the Jaguars could not go through with the charade of playing a meaningless football game. Related: brady, comedy, football, funny, giants, jacksonville, jaguars, manning, onion, satire, superbowl, tom

	Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate Threatens McCain's Base Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 186 seconds Experts predict that Joad Cressbeckler could tip the election to Obama by attracting people who want to vote for the most crotchety candidate possible. Related: 2008, barack, comedy, election, funny, john, mccain, obama, onion, palin, sarah, satire

	YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 152 seconds YouTube is offering a cash prize to the first user to upload a video with a shred of originality or artistic merit. Related: comedy, contest, fake, funny, news, onion, satire, youtube

	The Onion: Situation In Nigeria Seems Pretty Complex Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 161 seconds In The Know: Panelists discuss the complicated issues facing Nigeria or Niger. More coverage at: http://www.onion.com Related: africa, news, nigeria, onion, the

	NASA Simulator Preps Astronauts For Larry King Interview Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 212 seconds NASA instructors offer a firsthand look at the training astronauts endure before they can physically and mentally withstand an appearance on Larry King Live. Related: astronauts, comedy, fake, funny, king, larry, live, nasa, news, onion, satire

	Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 195 seconds Voting machine DRE700 came out of nowhere to defeat Barack Obama and John McCain and become the first machine president. Related: barack, comedy, election, fake, florida, funny, john, machine, mccain, news, obama, onion, palin, sarah, satire, voting

	Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole? Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 125 seconds With the economy sliding deeper into a recession, panelists discuss whether it's time to stop throwing our money into a massive pit out in the desert. Related: bailout, business, comedy, fake, funny, money, news, onion, paulson, recession, satire

	The Onion: McCain Left On Campaign Bus Overnight Posted by: TheOnion Video duration: 159 seconds Campaign officials downplayed the incident, saying the senator was fine as soon as he was fed and taken to the bathroom. Related: barack, comedy, fake, funny, john, mccain, news, obama, onion, palin, sarah, satire

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